Do
you ever find yourself in the pursuit of happiness? This happens when happiness
becomes a thought process. It’s like, “Once I am with those people, wearing
those clothes, doing that thing, in that place, THEN I’ll be happy!!”
The
problem with doing happiness that way, is that happiness is always something
that is out of reach or in the future. Unfortunately society can condition us
to think that in order to find happiness; we need to have things that are
outside of ourselves. I don’t know about you, but from about the age of 16 when
I was at school and teachers told me to start deciding what we wanted to do
with my life, happiness was something that was obtained from things outside of
myself. These were choices such as: the choice of academic subjects, achieving
grades to get into the right university, choosing a career to pay a certain
salary, that would enable you to wear those clothes, drive that car, live in
that neighbourhood, impress those people…etc, etc, etc.
I
call that doing happiness. What if I told you that BEE-ing happiness was much
more of a buzz (pardon the pun) and a lot less hassle than any of that stuff above?
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU, you could BEE happy right now without any of that stuff? What if I told you, happiness is all about
what’s on the inside, and less about any of these external factors? I remember
thinking back when I was 16, “What if I don’t want to go to University? What if
I just want to BEE happy and help other people to BEE happy?”
Happiness
comes from BEE-ing present. When we start looking and noticing what is around us
and appreciating it, happiness and contentment follows. Rather than getting
caught up in the unruly chatter of the mind that can wander aimlessly from
topic to topic and create judgements, you can intercept this process and create
a happier state of BEE-ing by using just 3 simple techniques…
Breathing
The
simplicity of the breath! It’s truly
beautiful. Just by taking 3 deep breathes in through the nose, down to the
diaphragm, into the tummy and out through the mouth. This is the way we breathe
naturally when we are babies. Our tummies are meant to pop out a little when we
inhale and then settle back to normal when we exhale. If this is done
consistently when stressed it changes our brain chemistry and brings about
relaxation. This is because when we are stressed or unhappy, we tend to breathe
in a shallow quite quick rate. By changing the respiratory rate to a slower and
deeper level, our brains get a signal that everything is okay and we can relax.
Our heart-rate will settle to a normal rate and we will begin to feel better. Every
time something causes you to become unsettled, anxious or stressed, close your
eyes and take 3 deep breathes, done in the way described above, open your eyes
and feel the difference. You will find you feel a lot calmer and more relaxed.
The beauty of this, is it can be done pretty much anywhere and if you can’t
close your eyes because you’re driving or in a social setting, then just do it
with your eyes open and feel the benefits. I love the simplicity of this
exercise and it is open to everyone who can BREATHE, so literally includes all
human BEE-ings. How cool is that?
Gratitude
Isn’t
gratitude a wonderful thing? Showing gratitude to things we already have in life
sends out the message of abundance. It changes your mind-set from I am lacking,
to I am enough. Quite a lot of people live life from a perspective of, “I am
not enough, I do not have enough...” Showing gratitude for things and people in
your life opens up the opportunity for more of whatever we are grateful for, to
enter our lives. An effective exercise that can improve focus to the things
that we are grateful for is a Gratitude List. Every night write down 5 things
that you are grateful for, that has happened that day. This could be anything.
For
example:
I
am grateful for:
- The sun shining
- A smile from a passer by
- Someone at work saying thank you
for my efforts
- The meal I had for lunch
- Knowing that deep breathes cause
changes in brain chemistry and bring about relaxation ;)
Another
way to enhance this is to add a visual element to it. Before you go to sleep at
night, visualise the 5 things from your gratitude list infront of you as beautiful,
sparkling golden stars. Then imagine reaching out and clasping each star one by
one in your hand and then put them into your heart. To me, this represents the
things you are grateful for, becoming an internal part of you, rather than
something that is outside of yourself. The benefits of the gratitude list can
be enhanced by adding the visual element. BEE-ing happiness is an inside job;
it’s not about external factors. The side effect of getting the inside right,
is that the outside falls into place too. Woohoo!
Smiling
When
we smile for long enough, we stimulate the feel-good emotion in our bodies.
Even if it is a fake smile! This is fascinating. Fake it until you make it – IT
WORKS! Smiling helps us to connect with others, which increases the feel-good
factor for us and in the person we are smiling at. Even if people don’t appear to
be smiling back, they actually are. Take comfort from the fact that their
Mirror Neuron System (MNS) has been activated and their big muscles on either
side of their lips (Zygomaticus Major) and the muscles beside the eyes (Orbicularis
Oculi) have flexed subconsciously. So they have just done a really fast,
unnoticeable smile in response to yours. I challenge you to smile as much as
you can, to as many people as you can. If there is an emotional connection
between you and the other person, be sure to know that the Love hormone has
been released. This is called Oxytocin, this hormone attaches to the outsides
of the blood vessels, causing the release of Nitric Oxide, the blood vessels
then dilate and blood-pressure reduces. It is known as a cardio-protective hormone
– meaning that it helps heart health.
So
for the next month, implement these 3 EASY steps and move towards BEE-ing happy.
Happiness need not be dependant on your life circumstances; it can be
influenced by YOUR behaviour despite your life circumstances. I BEE-lieve in
you, you can BEE happiness!
Stay
tuned for next month’s blog – where I’ll be giving you more tips on how to move
towards BEE-ing happy! J
Author
– Aimee Stewart Bsc – 26 – Inverness, Scotland
