So,
last Monday my Mum and I were driving up the A9 after a lovely, relaxing
holiday in Sharm El Sheikh. A long car journey is a good opportunity to talk
and that is exactly what we did.
The conversation that we had was about my sister Naomi’s death. As some of you know my big sister died suddenly when I was 5 and she was 13. That was 21 years ago in the summer of 1993. Time is definitely a healer when it comes to loss and although we don't speak about her often now, she is still very much in our hearts. Naomi's passing was a big life lesson in our family and one that continues to shape our lives today. I think we are all stronger for having experienced something so tragic and it definitely helps me to be more compassionate towards other people.
The reason I am writing this blog about my sister passing, is that 2 amazing things happened after speaking about her and I feel sharing these might help others.
Naomi loved Michael Jackson and I have vivid memories of us dancing around to Rockin' Robin. Even though I was just 5, Naomi had a big impact on my life. I viewed her as a 2nd Mum, she was someone who was loving and caring and made people smile. My Mum and I shared some tears and some laughter during our conversation about her. I said to my Mum...I hope Naomi would be proud of the people we have have become. I hope she loves us because I most definitely love her.
About 10 minutes after that, we were listening to Radio 2 and Michael Jackson - Rockin' Robin came on the radio. My Mum and I smiled at each other and had a wee dance in the car to the song that was played in our home on repeat, over 20 years previous. I said to my Mum, that's Naomi telling us that she's here and she loves us. We discussed the fact that Naomi was a being of light and that song signified that because it made us feel light. Later that evening when we were settled in at home, both of our dogs were lying on top of me on the sofa. Dexter sometimes gets too hot, so he jumped down to lie on the floor so that he could cool off. I looked down and beside him, lying on the floor was a beautiful white feather. I brought it to my Mum's attention and we both smiled and said, 'That's Naomi.' Some people might put this down to coincidence but there's not a shadow of doubt in my mind, Naomi was communicating that she could hear us talking fondly of her.
I took a photo of Dexter and the white feather which I have uploaded at the bottom of the page.
I would like to share some tips with you, to help you if you are struggling with loss of some kind:
1) Bee aware of the signs
I took great comfort in hearing that song come on the radio and seeing the white feather lying beside our dog Dexter. So if you have things that remind you of your loved one who has passed, keep your eyes and ears open of signs that they are around.
2) It's good to talk
Even though Naomi passed over 20 years ago, talking about her has helped a great deal. We don't make a point of talking about her but when it happens, we let it happen and normally following it, some healing takes place.
3) Let emotions flow
It's okay to feel the emotions that you feel. If you feel like crying, cry, if you feel like laughing, laugh. A lot of people wonder how they should be acting after someone has passed on. There is no answer to that, it's an individual thing. Bottling emotions up, however, is not good. The best thing to do, is to let them flow. Now, over 20 years on, me and my family still talk about our loss and cry about it and even laugh and smile about the happy times.
Myself & my family lost an angel but she is still very much is our hearts. Those wee signs were beautiful to see and feel. Life is fragile but it is also beautiful.
The conversation that we had was about my sister Naomi’s death. As some of you know my big sister died suddenly when I was 5 and she was 13. That was 21 years ago in the summer of 1993. Time is definitely a healer when it comes to loss and although we don't speak about her often now, she is still very much in our hearts. Naomi's passing was a big life lesson in our family and one that continues to shape our lives today. I think we are all stronger for having experienced something so tragic and it definitely helps me to be more compassionate towards other people.
The reason I am writing this blog about my sister passing, is that 2 amazing things happened after speaking about her and I feel sharing these might help others.
Naomi loved Michael Jackson and I have vivid memories of us dancing around to Rockin' Robin. Even though I was just 5, Naomi had a big impact on my life. I viewed her as a 2nd Mum, she was someone who was loving and caring and made people smile. My Mum and I shared some tears and some laughter during our conversation about her. I said to my Mum...I hope Naomi would be proud of the people we have have become. I hope she loves us because I most definitely love her.
About 10 minutes after that, we were listening to Radio 2 and Michael Jackson - Rockin' Robin came on the radio. My Mum and I smiled at each other and had a wee dance in the car to the song that was played in our home on repeat, over 20 years previous. I said to my Mum, that's Naomi telling us that she's here and she loves us. We discussed the fact that Naomi was a being of light and that song signified that because it made us feel light. Later that evening when we were settled in at home, both of our dogs were lying on top of me on the sofa. Dexter sometimes gets too hot, so he jumped down to lie on the floor so that he could cool off. I looked down and beside him, lying on the floor was a beautiful white feather. I brought it to my Mum's attention and we both smiled and said, 'That's Naomi.' Some people might put this down to coincidence but there's not a shadow of doubt in my mind, Naomi was communicating that she could hear us talking fondly of her.
I took a photo of Dexter and the white feather which I have uploaded at the bottom of the page.
I would like to share some tips with you, to help you if you are struggling with loss of some kind:
1) Bee aware of the signs
I took great comfort in hearing that song come on the radio and seeing the white feather lying beside our dog Dexter. So if you have things that remind you of your loved one who has passed, keep your eyes and ears open of signs that they are around.
2) It's good to talk
Even though Naomi passed over 20 years ago, talking about her has helped a great deal. We don't make a point of talking about her but when it happens, we let it happen and normally following it, some healing takes place.
3) Let emotions flow
It's okay to feel the emotions that you feel. If you feel like crying, cry, if you feel like laughing, laugh. A lot of people wonder how they should be acting after someone has passed on. There is no answer to that, it's an individual thing. Bottling emotions up, however, is not good. The best thing to do, is to let them flow. Now, over 20 years on, me and my family still talk about our loss and cry about it and even laugh and smile about the happy times.
Myself & my family lost an angel but she is still very much is our hearts. Those wee signs were beautiful to see and feel. Life is fragile but it is also beautiful.
