Thursday, 1 October 2015

Bee as you are, come as you are, however you are…


Some of you may think that I always focus on the positive. With this blog I want to explore acceptance in all that is. You see in life, positives, negatives and things we may see as neutral all exist. They all exist, they all have their purpose and they all can teach us something about ourselves. Having an understanding of how we cope with things, whatever those things are; is empowering. It is empowering because we can realise our resilience to the negative. It is empowering because we can connect with others through our vulnerabilities. It is empowering because it can bring us to a greater understanding of ourselves. The truth is I'm all about life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the neutral...nothing is off limits. Its life we are talking about and it's a jungle out there...

We as human beings come from all different backgrounds. We come as individuals with a multitude of experiences that have shaped us into who we are, how we see ourselves and how we relate to the world. Recognising all aspects of what has shaped us, into who we are today, helps us to move beyond those things that hold us back. Here I am making reference to the good, the bad, the ugly and the neutral.

Day to day, we have somewhere in the region of 60,000 to 100,000 thoughts a day. Some are good, some are bad, some are ugly and some a neutral. If we latch on to all of these, it is no wonder we feel churned up and stressed out. Remember its life; unfortunately we are not in some rainbow filled land, with unicorns grazing in the distance and cherubs playing harms on a cloud. However, personally I like to dwell in that land for periods of time. We are on planet earth and it can be tough down here. I know this because I'm a human, living a life and I've had good, bad, ugly and neutral experiences. The range of experiences is much vaster than those 4 categories but for the purposes of this blog, I'm using just the 4. Amazing, beautiful, disastrous, fucked-up, life-affirming, musical... (the list goes on) experiences exist too. However, sometimes for the purposes of simplicity and getting a point across, less is more.

As we come with all these experiences that have shaped us into the glorious mess that we are, wouldn't it be wise to embrace it all. I think it would. Wouldn't it be a relief that you're okay, just as you are, RIGHT NOW! You don't have to change, you don't have to right your wrongs, and you don't have to right someone else's wrongs. You just have to accept yourself, fully as you are now with all of the experiences that have helped to make you into who you are today. By doing so, resistance tends to stop, stress tends to drop and life tends to flow.

 

So, how are we going to do this acceptance thing?

A few weeks ago when I attended a Tibetan Buddhist Retreat in The Scottish Borders I was asked a question. I was there to begin my MSc in Mindfulness along with around 50 other students. The lecturer asked: "Why are you here?" He then went on to say, "I want you get really clear on this. Really clear because this is what's going to keep your practice up when you leave." I didn't really think about my answer and as he had asked the whole class, he only asked for a couple of responses. I didn't volunteer my answer. My answer was: "I'm here to sort my shit out!" I hadn't realised that was the reason I was there, until that point. Up until that point I would've told anyone who asked that I was going there to further my career and to help people with mindfulness. Those things were just as true but the thing that came up first was; I was there to sort my own shit out. To me that was amazing and it actually made me smile inside. I mean we all have shit, so we may as well sort it out!

So you may ask; how do I sort my shit out?

1) Accept it

I am talking about the good, the bad, the ugly and the neutral. It's all there to be accepted. We don't have to push it away, we don't have to get busy and avoid it, and we don't have to change it. Basically it's not for changing, it's for accepting. When we accept our lives as they are and ourselves as we are, we move beyond the shit. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone with my swearing. I'm someone that finds swearing therapeutic, especially when I'm referring to life's mess. Acceptance can come through journaling daily. Also using an affirmation such as, "I accept all that has been, all that is and all that is to come." I recommend saying affirmations 10 times in front of a mirror until you believe yourself.

There's a great book that I highly recommend called, "Fuck It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way" by John C Parkin. It is a book that I hold close to my heart because during and after reading it, a lot of my shit made a lot more sense. It outlines everything about the technicalities of saying "fuck it" and getting on with life in a less harassed and serious way. It basically teaches us to be more care free in our approach, have more fun and care less about the stress causing stuff.

Breathe in the good shit and breathe out the bullshit. I mean it; breathe in ALL the good shit. Focus on it, absorb it, feel it love it, hold it, write about it. Write a gratitude list for example; 3 things you're grateful for every day, for 21 days and your happiness levels will improve. Gratitude lists can contain all kinds of things. Nice weather, a compliment, an achievement, a purchase, an enjoyable meal, a pet, a child, a conversation, anything that brings you joy and makes you feel positive, even if it’s a small feeling. It helps to train your mind to focus on the good stuff. We tend to get overloaded with negativity because the untrained mind tends to rest on that stuff. Gratitude lists help by changing your focus. Try it, it works.

I also mean, breathe out the bullshit. Breathe it out, blow it away, don't latch on to it, and let it flow away from you. By this, I don’t mean get busy and ignore the negative, I mean deal with it, accept it and once you have done that get on with your wonderful life. Throw the bullshit in the bin. Really, imagine yourself, throwing the crap in the bin. Write it down and rip it up and throw it away. It might come back again but when it does, time will have passed and you’ll be further on than when it came up the last time, making you better equipped at dealing with it. When shit happens, don’t get bogged down. Just think, “This is life, this is what happens, and I can do this shit!!” YOU CAN, you rock!

2) Intention/motivation

This little piece of magic is what helps to keep me going. “What is your intention?” That’s what the lecturer asked me when I was down in the borders beginning my masters. I had no idea it was to “sort my shit out” but I tell you what…It’s what keeps me going when my motivation has hopped on the next bus to Timbuktu! Seriously, when you get clear on your intention, your motivation follows. Your intention is the step before the action, and motivation follows intention. You see, if I planned to make myself a cup of tea, my motivation would kick in and get that tea made. So if you want to get on with life and bee happy, no matter what your experiences have been, then this first thing I would advise you to do is to get clear on your intention. Then when motivation decides to have a wee holiday, all you have to do is revisit your intention and it’ll be on the next bus back to you, with full gusto for the task in hand.

3) Connect

Believe it or not, everyone around you is not sailing through life, they are generally not enlightened and they have just as much insecurities as you. They may look as though they are sailing and they are enlightened but unless they are The Dalai Lama and a few others, they are not. I believe pretty much all of us are winging it. Yes we have knowledge, yes we can get good at things, yes some people are talented but on some level, we are all winging it to some degree. Knowing this helps me to connect with people I might see as superior to me. It helps me to remember, those people are human too, just like me. You see we are all vulnerable, we are human, we all share emotion and we all get scared sometimes. Having the courage to be vulnerable is where the magic happens because people can identify with vulnerability and that’s what helps us to connect. I can bet most of us have a small number of close friends and with those friends we are able connect on a level that we can share our vulnerability. Connecting doesn’t happen through boasting about how amazing we are, or telling everyone about all of our achievements. It comes from letting people in to see your struggle, to hear about your challenges, by being real and by being honest. That’s what humanity is. So having the courage to be vulnerable helps us to connect with others and our vulnerabilities are not something to be ashamed of, they are something to acknowledge. They are here to empower us.

So there we have it. A few tips to sort your shit out. Remember you are perfect just as you are, you don’t have to change. The tips are there to show you that mastering life doesn’t have to be difficult and you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. I hope you have fun sorting your shit out!!! I intend to.

Monday, 17 August 2015

11 ways to Bee Easy on Yourself

Do you ever find yourself tired, burnt out and your usual energy and zest for life diminished? Sometimes this happens to us all and the truth is this is completely natural. What is important about getting to this point is; to take a step back and evaluate where you are and what areas in your life that you can start taking more care of yourself… Below I outline 11 ways in which you can “Bee Easy On Yourself”, so you can get back on track with enthusiasm and a thirst for life can be cultivated…

          1) Learn to say no

If you’re anything like me, saying no can be quite a difficult thing to do. However, I’ve learnt in some cases it is important not to overload ourselves. Saying no is good because it sends out the message that you respect yourself enough not to overload yourself, so that you’re not burnt out. Try it, it’s an act of self-love and you’ll be surprised by the people who you say no to may begin express more respect towards you. Saying no does not have to be a negative thing, it can be empowering and lets the world know that you are honouring yourself, your time and gives you time for things that you previously may not have had time for.

         2) Take 10 minutes

10 minutes is such a manageable amount of time. It’s a fraction of an hour. Taking 10 minutes to just sit with ourselves is enough to recharge and get back on track. Whether it’s 10 minutes when you’ve just come in from work to transition into the evening, or whether you’ve just put your children to bed, or whether you’ve just completed a long drive, an assignment, etc. Giving yourself 10 minutes gives your mind and body the signal of change. It’s enough time to replenish your energy levels. Some people might choose to do something in those 10 minutes that require stillness and attention, such as the points I’m going on to describe… 

         3) Breathe

Breathing is something we all do subconsciously. However, when we bring consciousness to our breathing it calms us by bringing more oxygen into our bodies and our minds. Every cell gets replenished. By taking 3 deep, conscious breathes, we can literally feel more alert, calm and able to focus on whatever we are doing in a particular moment…You could also choose to focus on your breathing for the 10 minutes that you take to transition into another part of your day. Experiment with it and see what works best for you…

4) Smile

Most people know I am a great advocate for smiling. As Dr David Hamilton explains; our emotions have 4 components. Please see the diagram below:
So by using the muscles that produce a smile (zygomaticus major), on either side of our mouths, that make us look happy, it actually causes changes in our brain chemistry by producing hormones such as dopamine and serotonin that help to make us feel happy. This in turn connects to our Autonomic Nervous System and can reduce blood pressure, lower our heart rate and in a very real sense can improve our health. So get out there and smile…There’s also a by-product that it helps us to connect with others and social connections are important for both mind and body health.

         5) Meditate

You don’t have to be a Buddhist Monk to meditate. Absolutely anyone can do it. I love meditation, mindfulness, relaxation, whatever name is most comfortable for you. It helps your mind and body to recuperate. It’s like unplugging from the chaos for a while, so that when you return you can respond at your optimum level. I advise people to begin with just 10 minutes per day. You could incorporate it into point 2 (take 10 minutes). You can start by just bringing awareness to the present moment by focussing on your breathing.. A lot of people say that they feel they are doing meditation “wrong”, my answer is always, “you cannot do it wrong.” If you find thoughts are getting in the way a lot, that’s okay. That’s what happens to begin with, what’s important, is that when you feel yourself drifting off into your thoughts you come back to the present moment. You can do this by using a 3 worded phrase such as “all is well”, or visualising a cloud floating away (that’s your thought) and then resting, until the next thought comes and do the same thing…. You could research some techniques online or use a guided meditation CD. It’s up to you. My next blog will be all about meditation, so plug in next month to learn more.

         6) Hug someone you love

Hugs release a hormone called Oxytocin. When this is released into our bloodstream, it attaches to the inside of our blood vessels and helps them to dialate which reduces our blood pressure…how amazing is that?!

         7) Go for a walk

Walking is brilliant for mind and body health. It gives us the opportunity to contemplate the day, or to think about anything that we may have on our minds which gives us clarity of thought. It’s also great exercise and amazingly enough, we burn the same amount of energy walking a mile as we do running a mile. Also getting out for a walk, helps us to connect with nature which has a relaxing effect on our minds and our bodies.

8) Read

Reading can help to relax us by taking us to another place in our imagination. Sometimes escaping reality is necessary, especially if we are facing difficult things in our lives.  If it’s non-fiction we are learning about things that interest us. So take some time out to read.

9) Let it go

Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in the drama of life or certain glitches that we perceive other people to cause us. However, for our own sake it’s much better for us to let these things go. Have you ever heard the saying, “Holding a grudge is like letting someone live rent free in your mind”. In a sense this is what we are doing when we hold on to things that upset us. An exercise I like to share people is to scrunch up some newspaper whilst imagining the grudge going into the paper and then rip it up and throw it in the bin. This is taking it out of your head and putting it into a tangible object and then by putting it in the bin, you are letting go of it in a physical sense. Try it and see…

10) Use positive affirmations

Positive affirmations have been shown to help create opportunities, increase confidence and boost positive emotions. You can make personalised affirmations up for yourself depending on what you want to create I have mentioned these in other blogs and the reason I am mentioning them again is because I really believe in them. I know they work through personal experience. For example I have written the following affirmation to help me to let go of difficult emotions:

“Everyday I cultivate positive emotions using my actions, words and body posture. I deal with negative emotions with time, care and attention, letting things go as I feel ready.”

11) Get a good sleep

Getting a good sleep is one of the most important aspects of a healthy and happy life. Getting in a good bedtime routine is important to promote health, so that you’re fully charged and ready to take on the day. Having a bath get help you to wind down, so that you’re ready for sleep. Avoid using electronic devices before bed because the light reduces your melatonin levels which is the hormone that tells your body that you’re tired. We all know children need a good night-time routine in order to promote a good sleep and the same goes for us.


I hope you find the 10 points I’ve made, easy to utilise. Remember to be easy on yourself when you attempt to apply these points. A tip that you might find helpful is to week by week, choose one or two of the points made and apply these. Once you’ve mastered them, you might want to go on and pick another one or two. Take your time, be innocent with it and practice makes perfect.


Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Thoughts, feelings and bee-haviour

I’m BAAAAACK. After a break since February the Born 2 Bee Happy blog returns. Reasons for my recent break mainly come from being a super busy bee. I am just over 2 weeks away from moving house, so there’s been lots going on but I can tell you, I’m super happy to be back with this month’s blog.  I also wanted to share that I am beginning an Msc in Studies in Mindfulness this September with The University of Aberdeen. I’m so looking forward to it. I think it will enhance my level of knowledge and the information that I am in turn, able to share with you all.

Did you know that how you think, feel and beehave are closely connected? What goes on in our mind in terms of our thoughts, impacts our emotional state and that in turn affects what we do. I loved learning about this because I realised that instead of my life happening to me. It was actually ME that was happening to life. How I processed information, situations, events, and other people’s behaviour, was what would result in either a positive or negative experience. It was all down the filters in my mind that had been formed over the course of my life. The beliefs that I have formed, my opinions about myself, others and the world. Having this new level of understanding made me realise that life wasn’t as serious as I had made it out to bee. I was better placed to have more fun and take life less seriously.
So if we are to use this learning to our advantage, we can begin to intercept the process and create a cycle that is more positive. For me, even just the recognition that this is what is happening within me, can help me to be more accepting of myself and situations that arise. Negative situations and thoughts, no longer hold as much significance for me. Life on the whole becomes less serious and more fun!

So I am going to use my usual format and share with you three ways on how your can utilise this knowledge to a) create more positive cycles and b) when cycles are negative, to be able to have a more accepting attitude towards them.

  1. Positive Affirmations

When I was training for The Inverness Half-Marathon this year, I found Positive Affirmations really helped me to move forward and keep the momentum up of my training. It was no use if I didn’t think I could do it. Also, if I had negative thoughts going through my mind whilst I was training that would’ve slowed me down and created a less than motivated approach. I used a few different affirmations;

“Everyday, in everyway, I am getting better and better.” Emile Coule

“Grant me the strength to focus this week. To bee mindful and present, to serve with excellence and to be a force of love.” Brendan Buchard

“With each step I take, I am getting stronger, faster and more agile.” Aimee Stewart

“Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I choose to make it the best of my life.”

I don’t think you need to be training for a half-marathon in order to utilise positive affirmations. You could use these affirmations every morning when you rise and every evening before you go to sleep. I would repeat them until they feel believable. Until you got that good “feeling” because as I said thoughts create feelings, so positive affirmations, create positive feelings and will make you behave in a way that reinforces the thoughts, in a positive way.

  1. Bee aware of the cycle

When you are feeling pants and maybe behaving in a way that you don’t want to be behaving in, and you are aware that you are having negative thoughts. Just the awareness of the cycle can help you to realise that you are okay. That things can and will improve, when you either create a more positive cycle consciously, or it evolves itself naturally. It’s up to you. I find when I am having a run of bad luck or life in general isn’t syncing the way I want it to. The realisation; that why I am feeling a certain way is because my thoughts, feelings and behaviour cycle. Not because of the situation itself. This empowers me and I hope it does the same for you. It empowers me to want to change my cycle and it empowers me knowing I have the power to do so…

  1. Change something

You have the power to bee great and change anything you want to change in your life. Awareness is the first step towards change. So now that you are aware of your cycle; change something…change your thoughts, or change your beehaviour. This is sometimes easier said than done, so bee easy on yourself and bee kind to yourself. The definition of BEEHAVIOUR, as I’ve written it in this blog; “is the ability to just bee.” So bee yourself, show yourself acceptance, bee aware of your cycle and change if you feel inpsired to do so. Change something in a compassionate way. If you notice yourself thinking negatively, ask yourself; “Can I use positive affirmations in this instance to change my cycle?” Or can I change what I am doing in this moment to change the way I feel. If you have read my previous blogs you will know I am an advocate for smiling, deep breathing and relaxation.

Why not have a read of my previous blogs and utilise other skills that I have shared in them. Until next time, beehave. :)

     

Sunday, 15 February 2015

Bee At One & Notice The Synchronicity

This weekend I've been down in Glasgow for the book launch of Dr David Hamilton's 8th book called: I Heart Me: The science of self-love. I got 5 signed copies & I'm really excited to be sharing those with a few special people in my life. Self-love is the most important aspect of life in my opinion. A lot of us talk to ourselves and about ourselves, in a way that is less than kind. Batting off compliments, playing down our achievements and living in a way that keeps us small. Moving closer towards self-love helps us to play big, be the star of our own lives, try going for that job we always wanted, doing that thing we've always wanted to do, asking that person out on a date, etc. If we can learn to bask in all our glory, as the wonderful people that we are, I think the world would definitely bee a better place. 

Beeing at one with life and ourselves can feel different for all of us. However, one thing I've noticed when I am at one with how my life is unfolding and with who I am, synchronicity shows up. People, opportunities and events move into my awareness that help me to progress in life. These things happen more frequently because as awareness improves, so does the ability to utilise these opportunities to move forward in life. 

For example, I have this blog: Born2beehappy...I have hopes to expand this from being a blog to a book that teaches people the art of happiness and how to cultivate this into their lives through daily practice. I would like to create relaxation CD's and also through yoga, teach people how to bee happy! 

Since coming up with this idea, I've noticed signs to move me closer towards that becoming a reality. Those signs vary, for example, my friend and I did a Skype call recently. After a while, the conversation went towards the writing of my book. Following the call I brainstormed, came up with a plan and I now have the chapters outlined. Synchronicity is a wonderful thing because signs can appear in your life, as if by magic...On Friday, I went to a place called Minibar in Glasgow after the book launch. On their drinks menu was a Bee Happy cocktail and they even had drawings of bees on their specials board.

I've taken that as a sign that I need to get this stuff out there. Beeing happy is an important part of beeing human and I beelieve that we need more knowledge of ways to cultivate this in our lives, naturally. Using our posture, our beehaviour and thoughts to cultivate happiness is something we HAVE the power to do. 

So my message in this blog is to let you know that dreams can beecome reality. Beeing at one will help this to happen and beeing happy NOW is something we can have regardless of our circumstances. Once we are happy NOW, we can move forward to create more of that & happiness is no longer something that is wrapped up in the future. Dialogues such as, "Once in living there, doing that job, then I'll be happy", don't exist anymore because happiness is something you have NOW. 

Beeing at one is something we can cultivate by carrying out the following practices everyday:

1) Forgiving

Forgive yourself, forgive your family, your friends, your enemies. Forgiveness is something that frees you from past pains. It's not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. You may want to write letter of forgiveness and not send it. The act of doing that and reading it over will make it feel more real and help the shift happen inside you. Happiness is after all, an inside job. 

2) Bee in the now 

Beeing present is one of the most important aspects of cultivating happiness because it takes our attention away from the past and future and puts us in the here and now, where there are no problems! Right NOW there is nothing wrong. Practices such as relaxation, meditation, yoga and other forms of exercise can help you to do that.

3) Breathe

I've mentioned this in a previous blog post but I think it is so  relevant to beeing at one that it's worth repeating. Slowing our breathing down will help to keep us grounded and centred and able to cope with the stressors of daily life. Let's face it, life is unpredictable and the daily ups and downs of life can impact our bodies and cause us stress. However, learning to breathe properly lessens the impact of daily stress. If you want to learn you can go on to YouTube and search: diaphragmatic breathing and there are video tutorials on how to do this. 

Thanks for reading and I'd be delighted if you could share my blog with your friends. 

 

Sunday, 25 January 2015

Bee Aware Of The Signs


So, last Monday my Mum and I were driving up the A9 after a lovely, relaxing holiday in Sharm El Sheikh. A long car journey is a good opportunity to talk and that is exactly what we did.

The conversation that we had was about my sister Naomi’s death.  As some of you know my big sister died suddenly when I was 5 and she was 13. That was 21 years ago in the summer of 1993. Time is definitely a healer when it comes to loss and although we don't speak about her often now, she is still very much in our hearts. Naomi's passing was a big life lesson in our family and one that continues to shape our lives today. I think we are all stronger for having experienced something so tragic and it definitely helps me to be more compassionate towards other people.

The reason I am writing this blog about my sister passing, is that 2 amazing things happened after speaking about her and I feel sharing these might help others.

Naomi loved Michael Jackson and I have vivid memories of us dancing around to Rockin' Robin. Even though I was just 5, Naomi had a big impact on my life. I viewed her as a 2nd Mum, she was someone who was loving and caring and made people smile. My Mum and I shared some tears and some laughter during our conversation about her. I said to my Mum...I hope Naomi would be proud of the people we have have become. I hope she loves us because I most definitely love her.

About 10 minutes after that, we were listening to Radio 2 and Michael Jackson - Rockin' Robin came on the radio. My Mum and I smiled at each other and had a wee dance in the car to the song that was played in our home on repeat, over 20 years previous. I said to my Mum, that's Naomi telling us that she's here and she loves us. We discussed the fact that Naomi was a being of light and that song signified that because it made us feel light. Later that evening when we were settled in at home, both of our dogs were lying on top of me on the sofa. Dexter sometimes gets too hot, so he jumped down to lie on the floor so that he could cool off. I looked down and beside him, lying on the floor was a beautiful white feather. I brought it to my Mum's attention and we both smiled and said, 'That's Naomi.' Some people might put this down to coincidence but there's not a shadow of doubt in my mind, Naomi was communicating that she could hear us talking fondly of her.

I took a photo of Dexter and the white feather which I have uploaded at the bottom of the page.

I would like to share some tips with you, to help you if you are struggling with loss of some kind:

1) Bee aware of the signs

I took great comfort in hearing that song come on the radio and seeing the white feather lying beside our dog Dexter. So if you have things that remind you of your loved one who has passed, keep your eyes and ears open of signs that they are around.

2) It's good to talk

Even though Naomi passed over 20 years ago, talking about her has helped a great deal. We don't make a point of talking about her but when it happens, we let it happen and normally following it, some healing takes place.

3) Let emotions flow

It's okay to feel the emotions that you feel. If you feel like crying, cry, if you feel like laughing, laugh. A lot of people wonder how they should be acting after someone has passed on. There is no answer to that, it's an individual thing. Bottling emotions up, however, is not good. The best thing to do, is to let them flow. Now, over 20 years on, me and my family still talk about our loss and cry about it and even laugh and smile about the happy times.

Myself & my family lost an angel but she is still very much is our hearts. Those wee signs were beautiful to see and feel. Life is fragile but it is also beautiful.
                            


                               

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

2014: The Year 2 Bee Happy


Well it’s coming to the end of 2014 and I would like to share with you some tips to help you to end your year on a high.

For me, my year has been a mixture of highlights and lowlights. I have accomplished some of the things I set out to at the beginning of the year and other things have gone by the wayside. I feel as though I am continuing to progress but some of my old patterns of behaviour continue to hold me back in some ways. This is why doing an exercise such as the one I am going to lay out for you, is important. Not only for reflection, but also to enable you to catapult yourself into 2015 with enthusiasm and a thirst to create the best year yet.

No matter what has happened this year for you, it is possible to end the year on a high and here are some tips to help you to do that.


1) Look back at your year and list all the things you are grateful for

The list might include people who have supported you through good times and tough times in the year. It might include events you have attended, it might be witnessing someone you love achieving something. It might include your pets. It might include giving up an unhealthy habit; it might be deciding to change something in your life. It might be a holiday you have been on or even having gratitude for where you are right now. It might be simple things, such as the food you eat or and home you live in. Whatever it is, having a grateful heart towards the things you have in your life, will create an attitude of abundance and that will make it possible for more of the same to come your way.

2) Create some time and space to stretch your body

At this time of year, it is very easy to get stressed. We all have so much to do. The festive period and the year end can also make us reflect on the things and people we have lost in our lives. So it’s really important to treat our bodies as kindly as possible at this time. Creating a 10 – 20 minute time gap in your day, and devote it to stretching your body, will not only reduce your stress levels psychologically but also reduce muscle tension. You can find free and easy to follow yoga tutorials on YouTube.

3) Connect with others

Social connections are really important for us human beings to thrive. It’s really good for us to connect with those who surround us at this time of year. Some of us are lucky to have family and friends, whom we can call upon and be surrounded by at this time of year. It’s a time to show the people we love how much we appreciate having them in our lives. If you feel isolated and alone at this time of year, it might be an idea to see what is happening in your local community for people who are in a similar position. You should find information on this at a local community centre, library and your GP surgery may also have information of groups and services which can offer you support over this time.

4) Practice compassion

Compassion, I believe, is the most intelligent aspect that we can draw upon, as human beings. It can take some practice to get good at showing compassion to a person or an animal. However, once you have mastered it, it will have health benefits for you and for the recipient. I find that really amazing. For example, compassion can be smiling at someone, holding a door open for them, a soft touch, listening. Basically, opening your heart to a person or an animal and showing them you care, are there for them and they can depend on you. This creates trust and the release of a hormone called Oxytocin in yourself and them. Author, Dr David Hamilton, has researched Oxytocin, and has found that it has been shown to reduce blood pressure and is therefore cardio-protective. If we collaborate this information, we can come to the conclusion that; people who show compassion to others have healthier hearts.

5) Have fun when you can

This is one great aspect of this time of year that can help us to be light hearted. Whether it is dancing, being silly, listening to music, dressing up, going out with friends, it is good to have fun wherever you can. Any opportunities you get to have fun, take them. Don’t forget to laugh at yourself and whatever you do, try not to take yourself too seriously. It is the season to be jolly after all

6) Write a 'Let Go' list

In your 'Let Go' list you can include anything you want to let go of in 2014. I find this really therapeutic. I also find it helps me to be grateful that the end if the year has come because it gives me the opportunity to let go of anything I want. Examples could include, unhelpful reactions to events, poor communication, anger, a grudge against someone, painful emotions, a habit. Once you've written your 'Let Go' list you might want to take it outside and set it alight, as symbolically this will be letting go of the list completely.

I hope you find these tips useful and help you to end 2014 on a high, no matter what the circumstances you find yourself in. I will look forward to January 2015, where I will be giving you tips on manifesting the year of your dreams. I wish you all a Happy Christmas and have the best time at New Year.

Here are some quotes I find help me to apply the tips that I’ve shared with you:

Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving somethingbigger and better than your current situation. Brian Tracy

Stretching your body, is just as important as stretching your mind. Aimee Stewart

Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn't feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive. Brene Brown

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama

More important than talent, strength, or knowledge is the ability to laugh at yourself and enjoy the pursuit of your dreams. Amy Grant

In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. – Deepak Chopra







                                   





Saturday, 1 November 2014

Bee in the moment, busy bees….

It’s time for the 5th instalment of my blog. Last month’s blog was all about Flying with Stress. I shared with you 3 tips to help you deal with stress in a more effective way. These were: 1) Bee aware – this was to help you to take a course of action when you noticed stress coming on, that would enable you to deal with stress effectively there and then. 2) Create some time – this was advice to create at least 30 minutes for yourself each day and to spend this time doing something that helped you to relax. 3) Get up, dress up, show up – this was to continue to do all of the things you normally do, even in the presence of stress. I hope you had fun applying these tips and if you haven’t read all my instalments. You’ll find them in my blogspot at: www.aimeejstewart.blogspot.co.uk .

So this month has been pretty full on for me, as I am sure it has also been for a lot of you too. Between juggling work, dogs, exercise, family, friends, working on new goals and throw in whatever else applies to you too. There is no getting away from the fact that life is busy. This can become overwhelming at times for all of us. Maybe negative thoughts such as, “I can’t cope with this”, “What’s the point”, “Give me a break”, pop into your mind. These exacerbate the overwhelmed feelings and ultimately lead to a lowering of our enjoyment of life. So my main aim for this month’s blog is to share with you ways to help you cope with a busy life and actually enjoy it. You might find that you end up thriving through those busy days and look forward with positivity to more of them.

The title of this month’s blog is: “Bee in the moment, busy bees.” As usual I am going to share 3 tips on how to create a mind-set that helps you to Bee in the moment throughout the busyness.

So here goes:

1)    Begin your day with a stretch and a smile

In my opinion, the beginning of the day is the most important part. Setting off on the right foot, so to speak, is a great practice to get into. So in order to help you cultivate this, I suggest you begin each day with a stretch and a smile. It’s quite easy to get into a rut when the alarm goes off, beginning your day with negative thinking and taking at least an hour to properly wake-up. However, it doesn’t have to be like this. Getting out of bed and purposefully stretching after your alarm goes off with a smile on your face, will help to cultivate positivity for the rest of your day. Even if it is a fake smile to begin with, we have learned through my first blog that smiling helps to release those healthy hormones, such as dopamine, which help us to feel good. When you stretch, reach up as far as you can with both hands above your head, bring both arms down and out to the sides , whilst stretching out as much as you can, then reach down to your toes as low as you can and then return to standing posture, with your shoulders back and down. This creates the confident posture that I spoke about in my 3rd  blog.

Your mind and body respond well to a ritual. By setting the tone of your day each morning with this positive intention, can really change the subsequent events of the day. Try it and see what you think. :)

2)    Take it one step at a time – write a To Do List

We all know what it’s like to have 101 things to do and not know where to begin. It’s so easy to get lost in the chaos and be up shits creak without a paddle. Let’s not let it get to that. The beauty of a To Do List, is it helps us to see what we have to do and instead of it being a mish-mash in our mind, it’s in black and white in-front of us. You can then look at your To Do List and break it down further. Write down, what needs to be done today, what can wait until tomorrow and what can be done at the end of the week and then review everyday…This helps you to feel more in control of your life and puts you in the driving seat. Rather than things driving you, you’re driving them. It’s a pretty great feeling to know you’re driving your own life forward and a To Do List is a simple action that can cultivate this feeling and help you to Bee in the moment.
3)    Exercise – walk, run, dance, - whatever you do, move!

Did you know that exercise is fundamental when it comes to creating mental well-being. We were born to move. Unfortunately in society today, a lot of us have jobs that prevent us from moving around a lot. Our bodies were created for movement and it’s important that we put them to use. The benefits of 30 minutes exercise per day, are enormous.

Some of the benefits I have listed below:

·         less tension, stress and mental fatigue
·         a natural energy boost
·         improved sleep
·         a sense of achievement
·         focus in life and motivation
·         less anger or frustration
·         a healthy appetite
·         better social life
·         having fun
  

30 minutes of activity each day could be a walk, a run, dancing, an exercise class, an exercise DVD. Anything, as long as your moving your body. Personally I find exercise the thing that keeps me sane. It might feel like a chore to begin with but after it becomes habit, you may find yourself looking forward to that part of your day. I get exciting now before I begin exercise. It’s a part of my day that I really look forward to because it really helps me to forget about the events of the day and transition into “me time”. Ultimately it helps me to Bee in the moment and forget about the busyness.

I hope you find these 3 tips useful and they help you to cultivate more positivity into your day, even if you are busy. Good luck. :)